It started when I was nine years old

Unfortunately, I started watching pornography at a very young age. I started when I was nine years old, when a classmate introduced me to it, describing it as “cool.” His words still linger in my mind as a tempting recommendation. From that moment, my life became a rollercoaster of encounters with pornography. Throughout my high school years, I would occasionally indulge in porn, ranging from once a month to every other day. As I started talking/dating girls I told myself it was a healthy alternative to premarital sex. As I neared the completion of my college degree, I resorted to using private browsing on web browsers to access videos. Although I made feeble attempts to resist the pull of pornography, relying solely on my willpower, I inevitably succumbed and soon turned to social media platforms for explicit images and videos. Even when I tried to limit my screen time using the features on my iPhone, I found myself seeking alternative apps. It seemed that no matter how fortified my barriers became, there was always a way to bypass them. After graduating amidst the pandemic, I descended into a deep, dark abyss of purchasing pornographic content.

Finding My Outer Circle

Despite my long and seemingly endless journey battling with pornography, I am currently living a victorious life, and will continue to do so with the continued help of the Lord. I have made significant changes to my social media habits by completely cutting out Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, and Discord. Now, I only use Facebook for mostly work and some personal purposes. As a result, when I interact with my personal social media accounts, I no longer feel any urge to seek out explicit images or videos. After enduring this prolonged struggle, I have finally found freedom from purchasing and consuming pornographic content. The desire to watch explicit videos online no longer lingers within me day in and day out. I have consciously abandoned the use of social media as a means to gratify myself and objectify women.

Looking back, whenever I was bored, lonely, sad, or whatever emotion seemed to be ruling me that day, I would use porn as a form of medication. Now, whenever I feel bored, lonely, sad, or whatever, I no longer have the desire to view porn. I have found healthy outlets for any boredom, loneliness, sadness, thanks to therapy, and our outer circles worksheet. That doesn't mean I don't still have temptations, but they occur less frequently now. Whenever I come across an image on social media that may lead me astray, I consciously control my thoughts, a practice I neglected in the past. I no longer entertain sinful and lustful ideas, but rather, I flee sexual immorality. As temptations arise, I surrender them to the Lord and express gratitude for His mercy in granting me liberty from pornography.

True Accountability

Personal accountability and software have played a significant role in my personal development. It all began with my decision to confide in a fellow brother and express my desire for accountability. This step enabled me to involve other Christian brothers in my journey, allowing them to support me in my struggles. While technology initially exposed me to the ease of accessing pornography, it has now become a tool for good. Through the use of software, I am able to send reports to my accountability partners, enabling them to monitor any suspicious activity on my phone or computer. This technological support has relieved me from the burden of fighting this battle alone, a challenge I had faced for far too long.

Software, through accountability, allowed my team - yes, it’s a team; not just one person - to check in and see how I had been doing. It provided them with the opportunity to inquire about the reasons behind my involvement in the adult entertainment industry or my curiosity towards certain subjects. It brought them into my world, ensuring that I did not face my challenges alone, and granted them access to the most concealed and shadowy aspects of my existence that I had kept hidden for an extended period of time. It extended an invitation for them to join me in prayer, offering both support and intercession. Thanks to the accountability fostered within my “team”, they have faithfully interceded on my behalf during my most trying moments of struggle.

Accountability helped me be open and vulnerable with the men in my group. Covenant Eyes and screen time assisted in helping maintain my sense of responsibility even during times when I hesitated to share, as it served as a reminder for my brothers in Christ to inquire about any concerning things in my report. It also served as a reminder for them that I am actively battling against these challenges, urging them to continue their prayers and regular check-ins. The implementation of accountability software has proven valuable in eliminating my access to inappropriate websites, promptly notifying my accountability partners whenever I attempted to visit such sites. I’m eternally grateful and I will strive to always maintain this level of accountability and vulnerability in my life.

Through the iPhone’s screen time feature, a brother works with me to keep me accountable by removing the ability to download apps, access websites, and enter private browsing. This accountability has helped me avoid moments of weakness and remove the temptation to combat this on my own. Even though I no longer desire porn, I want to ensure I remain diligent in "fortifying my armor” to ensure there are no weak spots, allowing me to honor God with the strength and purity of my body.

I praise God because I have finally found freedom from Christ’s redemptive work on the cross.

Thank you, AMP, for the work you do in combatting the pandemic of porn.

I don’t know if there are words to express my sincere gratitude to my fellow brothers for their unwavering support, enduring patience, and faith in me. I am deeply thankful to God for His never ending and unwavering grace, boundless love, and infinite mercy. I am truly a grateful believer in Jesus Christ, striving for moral and sexual purity.

-Anonymous

This is one of the many stories of the men who have found freedom from the pitfalls of pornography and sexual compulsion within our support group. There is hope. You are NOT alone.